English for our foreign cousins

[Gunwitch]

Bollocks = Bad Ju Ju
Dogs Bollocks = Good Ju Ju
Apples and Pears = Stairs
Dog and Bone = Telephone
Mobby = Mobile Phone
Flange = Woman's sex bits
Twonk = Idiot, fool
Git = Old english from the word "Get" meaning child of "insert parents name"
Plank = See Twonk above
Wanker = Masturbator
Bean Flicker = Lesbian
Rug Muncher = See above

[cerberus]

Twazzock = A Zock of Twazz
Ballbearings = Round Steel Objects found in OAP's Undies
OAP = Old Aged Persons
Smell Like OAP Underpants = As Written and Damn Banging
To Bang = To emit an Aroma that is rather unsavoury
Fun Baps = Mammaries
John Stalker = Bazzer

[Gunwitch]

Fart = That smelly sound that comes out your bottom

Gobshite = Irish term meaning "You Gobby Twat"

Kappa Slapper = Those gimps that drive around all night in their Vauxhall Rollovers with BOOM BOOM BOOM screaming out the speakers. Also known as Townie Wankers, Tosspots, Twats, and any other name you can think off. Usually accompanied by a girl of less than 13 yrs of age who sports a Pineapple hairstyle and chews gum like shes a camel.

Southern Muppet = Someone from the south of england, usually from Bradford down.

Northern Monkey = Anyoen in the north of england. if you're a southern muppet, then this means anyone north of the Watford Gap