This Batch Will Scare You... Or Not...

[cerberus]

A blonde goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband." "Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "the kind for under his arms."

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"
Blonde#2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!"

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 999:
Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."
Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"
Blonde: "Yes."
Operator: "The power in the house in on?"
Blonde: "Of course."
Operator: "And the switch is on?"
Blonde: "Yes, yes."
Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"
Blonde: "No, it's working fine."
Operator: "Then what's the problem?"
Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves. "

Brunette: "Why did the blonde move to the UK?"
Blonde: "I don't know. Why?"
Brunette: "It was easier to spell."
Blonde: "Easier than what?"

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his just-spent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those!"

A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21, 21, 21..." A blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21' 21, 21..." Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle and she jumps off the tracks just as the blonde is splattered all over the place. The brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail, counting "22, 22, 22..."

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"?
A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

[[MKP]FaNatiC`]

LMFAO @ all of m:D

I know this hasnt got to do anything with it but I just liked it...quote from abs and my conversation:

ok im back from the shower.. and WOAH i feels sooo light now says:
i have to go m8e.. going into town to buy some "stuff" :P
Fra////k - says:
what kinda stuff?
Fra////k - says:
drugs? 8O
Fra////k - says:
or dildos
Fra////k - says:
:P
ok im back from the shower.. and WOAH i feels sooo light now says:
lol nah
ok im back from the shower.. and WOAH i feels sooo light now says:
hahahaha
ok im back from the shower.. and WOAH i feels sooo light now says:
i dont need dildos... i have my own didlo fitted from birth 8O

[cerberus]

Me thinx he's gonna rape you over that one Frank... is it a nice Dildo? What is the Dutch word for Dildo?

[[MKP]FaNatiC`]

Just like in English, dildo :P

[E-limiNator]

frank dont make me post some of the stuff youve said to me on msn.. :wink:

[cerberus]

Do it..... please 8O

[[MKP]FaNatiC`]

Yeah do it :P
As long as it doesn't hurt anyone 8O :wink:

[E-limiNator]

no the convos between me and the people are private :P
unlike some ppl here *cough* Frank *cough* i respect that :P

lol im joking frank... i would but id have to go through all the chat logs to find something funny :P
not worth it.

[Herbie]

A few more blonde jokes: -

Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think atleast one of them would have seen it.

_______________

Three blondes were all vying for the last available position on the local police force. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be a cop, eh?"


The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and withdrew a photograph, and said, "To be a detect, you have to be able to DETECT. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. "Now, he said, "Did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"


The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He only has one eye!"


The detective shook his head and said, "Of COURSE he only has one eye in this picture! It's a PROFILE of his face! You're dismissed!"


The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"


The blonde immediately shot back, "Yep! He only has one ear!"


The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just said to the other lady? This is a PROFILE of the man's face! Of COURSE you can only see one ear!! You're excused, too! You'd never make a good detective!"


The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.


The detective turn his attention to the last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but....". He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "Alright. Did YOU notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"


The blonde said, "Yes, I did. This man wears contact lenses."


The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could tell that by looking at this picture?"


The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "DUH! He has only one eye and one ear, he certainly CAN'T WEAR GLASSES!

_________________________

A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it
true what Rita just told me ..... Babies come out of the same place where
boys put their thingies?"


"Yes, dear." Replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come
up, and she wouldn't have to explain it in detail to her daughter.


"But then when I have a baby," responded the blonde teenager, "won't it
knock my teeth out?"

_________________________

Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening
to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches
of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the
street, so the snowplow can get through". Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later, while they are eating breakfast, the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you
must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow-
plow can get through.". So, Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.


The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer
says, "We are expecting 10 -12 inches of snow today, you must
park..." then the electricity goes out. Norman's wife says, "Honey, I
don't know what to do..."

Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

_______________________

A blonde lady calls her boyfriend and tells him in an excited voice, he must come over imediatly and give her a hand with this killer jigsaw puzzle she jut got. "It's awsome" she tells him, "hurry on over, I can't wait to get started!"


"What is it supposed to be?" he asks.

"Well the picture on the box is a tiger." she replies. "It is very complicated and I cant find any starting pieces, hurry up!"

He agrees to come over and heads to her house.

When arrives she meets him at the door very excited. Taking him by the hand she leads him into the kitchen where the pieces are spread out over the table. Standing in front of the table squeezing his hand she says in a very excited tone, "Isn't this going to be great?"


Looking at the table, the boyfriend sighs, gives her hand a squeeze and says "Babe, After we drink the coffee, we will put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

________________________________

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

_____________________

Two blondes are walking through the woods when they come across some tracks. One blonde thinks they're deer tracks, and the other thinks they bear tracks. They're still arguing when the train hits them.

_____________________

A blonde is walking alongside a river when she sees another blonde on the other side. She shouts over "How do you get across to the other side?" At this the blonde looks both ways down the river and replies "You're already on the other side".



Blondes are so easy to make fun of o/

[[MKP]FaNatiC`]

lol another short one:

Q:how do you cause a blonde a broken nose?
A:put ur d!ck under a glass table